Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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