you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
