oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize