I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize