HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
