you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
we're so committed to being not committed
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
