slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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