I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
either way he was missing a nipple.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
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I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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