were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
