chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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