went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
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If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize