Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
