I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize