you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
