Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
