Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
