Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
