just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize