at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
