So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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