my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
