She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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