I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
