been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
