I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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