Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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