yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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