wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
