Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize