He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it glows. i had to have it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
