Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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