I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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