Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
