I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
