thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
