So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
