quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
