she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
