Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
