Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
