I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize