Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
