when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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