Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
