if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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