pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
