Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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