So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
