at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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