okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
