definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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