let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
