roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
