There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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