genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
