Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
