dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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