careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your peen. We're going out.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize