Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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