I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
